Vibrator Virgin: Tips for First-Time Solo Sex

Hello Simone!

I’ve been single for a while and I’m missing sex! I don’t want to go out and pick up strange men in bars just for sex, so am thinking about buying a vibrator, but I’m really embarrassed by the thought of using one! Can you reassure me it’s totally normal? And just what do I do with it?! PS Love hearing you on Loveline! 

More women should be like you. In control of their own sex lives. So firstly well done you! Now let’s get you started. First, you’re completely normal in your hesitancy: Choosing your first vibrator can be daunting! The sex market is flooded with them. The single biggest advice as a beginner is to go for something small (ish) in size. When it comes to sex, ladies (like men) shouldn’t be worried about size! In fact, large vibrators can be intimidating. Take a look online at a reputable and well established sex shop, like Eve’s Garden, so you can take your time browsing and educating yourself, without feeling self-conscious.

A lot of women starting out think that a vibrator is just inserted into the vagina. It isn’t. Simply for the reason that most of the nerve endings are outside of your vagina and not in it. That’s not to say you can’t use the vibrator like a dildo and insert it during your solo play. Get the timing right and this can be very pleasurable. The usual technique for using a vibrator is incredibly simple and effective. Rest it against the lips of the vagina, close to the clitoris, varying the speed and movements to your taste until you orgasm.

It’s for this very reason that I strongly recommend you don’t use a vibrator every time you masturbate. Just like Charlotte, who in Sex and The City locked herself away for days with her first ‘Rabbit’, you can all too easily get addicted to a vibrator’s charms. Enjoy it and the pleasure it brings you. But pace yourself. This way, when the real thing comes along, you won’t be disappointed his penis hasn’t got batteries and speed control!